I have yet to unearth the perfect word to describe the kind of smile that comes helplessly, vulnerably, and delightfully to your lips when you least expect it. I love days joined by that sort of smile for it means it was a day well spent and well satisfying to my soul.
I think of myself as a relatively busy person, and so the gift of boredom during lazy summer days is well treasured. I find that the moments I have entirely and guiltlessly to myself are spent enjoying the best pursuits. It’s easy to be grateful for these summer experiences that prompt spontaneous smiling - perhaps that’s the best way to describe it. In dwelling on the approaching school year, I think I echo the sentiments of many in saying a dread of the approaching months has caused me to hold ever tighter to these last summer days.
And that is because I have unfortunately created a mindset that causes me to believe these sort of smilies to come less easily during the school year rather than acknowledging the root of the problem. I have attributed the best parts of my life to summer, contained it there in fact, rather than finding different but equal joys in the discovery of new experiences, people and knowledge or in the satisfaction that comes from solving a difficult problem or writing a challenging essay. And maybe when it is not so easy to delight in such things, I should be searching for gratitude for simpler things like seeing my friends every day and driving with my brother to school.
Summer was well needed, but I am looking forward to applying my rejuvenated soul to the task of finding joy in the ordinary business of school days. I know so many more delightfully spontaneous smiles are to come. :)